


The Great Divide Chapter 24: Close to Heaven

by Antigravity_Carnivore



Series: The Great Divide [24]
Category: Breaking Benjamin (Band), STARSET (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Computers, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Science, Science Fiction, Technology, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:51:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antigravity_Carnivore/pseuds/Antigravity_Carnivore
Summary: The end of the series, no spoilers here.





	The Great Divide Chapter 24: Close to Heaven

Benjamin was over in front of him in a heartbeat. Grabbing Brock by the front of the shirt, he slammed him up against a side door and shook him. “This is all your fault! We trusted you that they would be here. Did you know about this the entire time? Was that your plan to get us down here and trap us like rats, Brock?”

“No.. no.. really. I had no idea.” he whimpered.

Once again, I ran over to Ben and tried to calm him down. These strange outbursts against Brock were getting far too frequent now. I rested my hand on his shoulder and pulled him off of him. “Ben, it's not his fault. It's mine. I took the key card from Burnley, okay? If you're looking for someone to blame, then blame me. It was my choice to come down here.”

Taking a deep breath, Ben walked away, shaking his head. There was something wrong that he wasn't telling us. He was on edge now and I feared that any little thing might push him over. We needed to get out of there, not only because of the imminent explosion, but because it was doing something to his head, and the longer we stayed there, the worse it became. I was about to go over and talk to him when I heard Thomas shout.

“Over here! Come quickly hurry!!!” We all ran to his side, and he pointed to a long, narrow corridor, only one single person wide, with a door at the end that had a window. It was a window to the outside! I was suddenly filled with hope again. “Lizzie said that Aaron left vehicles waiting for us at the perimeter of the base. We can use the tunnel and get out this way. The perimeter is only a few feet away, and surprisingly it's not locked.”

I was waiting for the bad news, there had to be some. “What's the catch?” I asked cautiously.

“The temperature.” Brock said.

Thomas nodded. “It's nighttime and the desert is unforgivably cold, we don't know where Aaron hid the transport. We don't have any source of light to look for them, or protection from the bitter wind and cold. If we run out there into below zero temperatures, we might not last long at all.”

“If we stay in here, we will die for sure. The explosion is set to go off in 10 minutes now. We have to get out.” Ben looked at me and smiled. “I don't know about the rest of you, but I would rather take my chances out there, than wait for death in here.”

I sensed a strange calmness in him now. Whatever had temporarily taken over him had passed and once again, he was thinking clearly. “What are we waiting for then? Let's get out of here.” I said, moving forward briskly.

One by one we each went down the corridor, moving as fast as our feet could carry us. Ben went first, followed by myself, then Lizzie and Thomas and finally Brock. I noticed Brock's disturbing silence again, but he seemed okay otherwise. As we reached the door, Ben turned around and looked at us, almost wanting affirmation that he was doing the right thing. It didn't matter at this point, we were escaping from one hell into the next. Pushing on the door with all his might, Ben threw the entire mass of his weight against it and it started to creak open. Inch by agonizing inch it opened, until there was a path wide enough for us to fit through.

Stepping outside, I noticed that the temperature was not cold at all, but actually just around the freezing mark. It was very dark and disorientating outside with the shadow of the massive F.E.C. Base looming behind us. There was a eerie silence that descended over the immediate area and it sent a chill running down my spine. It was too still and quiet. Ben and I started to scan the area for the vehicles and then heard Lizzie let out a high pitched shriek. We ran to her side and saw that her eyes were wide with wonder as she looked up into the dark sky. Thomas also seemed transfixed, and mesmerized. I followed their gaze upwards but could see nothing. Then it hit me, I realized what they were looking at. It was snowing. Holding out her hand, Lizzie let some of the snowflakes catch in her palm and stared at them in delight. Thomas closed his eyes and leaned his face upwards to the heavens, letting the light snow fall on his face. “What is this?” Lizzie whispered. “It’s wonderful!”

“It's snow, Lizzie.” I replied, trying to not to smile at her awe. “It's what happens when moisture builds up in the atmosphere and the temperature drops.” A sudden thought crossed my mind. “Wait, have you never seen snow before? Either of you?”

Thomas opened his eyes and shook his head. “Prox hasn’t had any type of precipitation, in more than 30 years. That's why it became a desert. All our resources have been depleted.”

“If that's the case, then why is it snowing?” Ben asked curiously, pulling the thin jacket Thomas had given him around his body. He never liked the cold.

“Oh my god.” Lizzie put her hand over her mouth. “He did it. He really did it!”

Thomas gave her a questioning look. “Huh?”

“Aaron. He said that he was going after the F.E.C. with the information that you gave him on that flash drive. It contained the location of where the main headquarters, which is where the machine is being kept. The only way that we could have weather like this is if the Everything Machine was destroyed. Thomas... Aaron and the men from Dawn did it! They managed to shut it all down! Prox is saved!” Lizzie's eyes flashed with light and excitement. I had never seen her so happy.

“We can't be here.” Thomas said to her, trying his best to bring Lizzie back down to reality for a moment. “The explosion is set to go off in a few minutes. It's going to be massive and unless we find those vehicles, then we're all going to be caught in the edge of it and burn to death. We need to find them, now! We can celebrate later.” 

Lizzie hit a few buttons on her comm device. “Before he left, Aaron put coordinates in my communication device of where the vehicles would be waiting for us, along with the timer for the detonation. We can use the GPS and find them.” As she scrolled through the menus, the minutes dropped off the countdown and she started to become frustrated. “Ah! I can’t operate this!”

Brock walked over to her quietly. “Can I help?” he asked.

Quickly, Lizzie took the device off her wrist and handed it to him. In seconds, he had a map brought up and a course plotted out around the perimeter of the base. “It’s this way.” He said, pointing. “But we need to go fast.” Pulling his messenger bag back up onto his shoulder, he was off with the rest of us following him as fast as we could. With no light to guide us, we stumbled over rocks and long since dead tree branches, making traveling with haste almost impossible. Even though the temperatures were not at the below zero mark, like we had expected, it was still freezing cold and the snow had begun to pick up, turning from a gentle, light flurry to almost blizzard conditions in a matter of minutes. Lizzie walked with her head down, trying to avoid the stinging wind with her arm wrapped around Thomas’s waist. His broken ribs were starting to slow him down now, and walking became difficult. The look of worry and concern on his face was growing with every passing moment. Benjamin walked next to me, not taking his eyes off of Brock who was leading the way. As he walked, I could see him shivering, Ben never liked the cold, he always said that once he felt a chill in the air, it would go right down to his bones, and it would cause him physical pain for days after. I had a sinking suspicion that it had something to do with his mystery illness which he absolutely refused to talk about. I glanced over at him and saw that his hair and beard were covered in snow and ice but he kept moving at a rapid pace, and started to worry about what would happen to him once the adrenaline wore off.

About a hundred feet away from the F.E.C. base, in the middle of a barren plateau on the perimeter Brock stopped.

Ben was immediately at his side, shouting through the wind and snow. “What’s going on? Why did you stop?”

Frantically looking around Brock's eyes darted from the immediate area to the comm device and then back again. “Because these are the coordinates that Aaron gave Lizzie. This is where the vehicles are supposed to be waiting for us!” Bending down, Brock brushed away the light layer of new fallen snow, exposing the untouched sand underneath. “No one has ever been here, either.” He glanced over to Lizzie who looked utterly crestfallen and devastated. “Aaron lied to you.”

“No!” She screamed, letting go of Thomas, who slumped down onto the ground, exhausted. His lips were starting to turn blue and his hair was soaked and wet, not from the snow, but from sweat. It was obvious that his injuries were more than he was letting on to and he needed medical attention. “He promised me that it would be here! He gave me his word!” She yanked the device from Brock’s hands. “Are you sure this is the right spot? Did you calibrate it correctly? Maybe the storm is interfering with the signal.” Ice had started to mix with the snow now, and it whipped the tendrils of her hair around her pale face with fury as she tried her best to recalculate the location. Every single time she tried it, it displayed the same location. Tears were streaming down her eyes. In rage, she threw the comm device down into the snow. “No… I refuse to accept that he betrayed us. We gave him what he wanted, all that information! He promised! Aaron promised me he’d help us!”

On the ground behind us, Thomas groaned. “Help’s not coming, Lizzie.”

“There’s nothing around for miles. We’re surrounded by desert in every direction.” Brock said, looking around.

I stood next to Benjamin, who was staring down at the base, lost in thought. It would only be a matter of minutes now before the whole thing exploded. “What are we going to do? We can’t go back, and if this storm intensifies, we won’t make it long out here without shelter.”

“We’re going to walk… and we’re going to keep walking for as long as we can. If we make it to sunrise, then there might be hope. But I’m worried about the weather. If the Everything Machine is destroyed then it’s going to take a few days for the atmosphere to stabilize. Right now we’re in the middle of a snowstorm, but it could change drastically in the matter of a few minutes and then we could be in for more dangerous weather. Prox has been a desert for years, and if it starts raining, then we’re going to be inundated with flooding, creating yet another problem.” Ben sighed and looked off into the darkness, away from the base. “The F.E.C. wouldn’t just build a facility in the middle of nowhere, there’s got to be shelter out there, somewhere close. Lizzie said that Aaron drove her back here, which means that Dawn is near. It’s just a matter of finding it.”

I leaned in close to him, trying to keep my voice down as well as block some of the biting, cold wind away from my body. “I am worried about Thomas. His ribs are cracked and I am afraid that he might have internal bleeding. He won’t be able to walk much further, and Brock is also injured as well. We can’t leave them behind.”

“I would rather die on my feet walking , than sitting on the ground and freezing to death. If we keep moving, there may be a chance.” Ben motioned toward Thomas. “Get him up. We have to go.”

Lizzie and I exchanged glances, each of us wanting to say something to Ben in protest, but we knew he was right. Laying down and accepting our fate would lead to certain death. Brock still remained silent, he had pulled his hood up over his head and retreated into the warmth of the thick fleece making it hard to see his face. I made my way back over to Thomas, who was starting to slip into unconsciousness. I grabbed his arm and shook him. “Hey Thomas, hey… wake up man, we’re going to move. You have to get up now.”

Half covered in snow, Thomas tried feebly to push me away. “No. Just go without me. I can’t walk any further. I think that I might be dying. Take Lizzie and find shelter, please. I’ll wait right here, come back with help, if you can…”

“We escaped from the F.E.C., we escaped from Burnley, all of us! Together! And now you are choosing to give up? I won’t let that happen. No one is dying here, not today.” Sliding my hands underneath one of his arms, I tried to lift him in an attempt to get him standing, but he resisted me, struggling against me with the pitiful amount of strength that he had left and wiggled out of my grasp.

“Stop it!” He shouted. “Go. Just get the fuck out of here.”

The commotion drew Ben back toward us and he looked at me for an explanation. The wind now was reaching maddening speeds, and the ice was cutting into our flesh, creating nightmarish conditions. “What’s going on? Thomas why won’t you get up?”

“Fuck off Ben. I can’t do anymore. My insides are all fucked up. If I start walking, I will be as good as dead in a few minutes. Take the others and go, let me just have my own inner peace here by myself and die with some dignity.”

Anger flashed across Ben’s face. “You son of a bitch… You are the leader of the Shallow Bay now! How dare you sit there and whine like some sort of three year old child?” Pushing me away, he bent down and grabbed Thomas by the shoulder, just like I had done, only Ben was much stronger and pulled him right up to his feet. Thomas let out a loud cry of pain, and tears were streaming down his face. Lizzie started tugging at Ben’s sleeve, trying to get his attention but he was focused on Thomas. “Back at the Messengers, you came to me on the verge of a mental breakdown from all the stress, begging me to take over as leader for you, and I did. You said that you were too weak and lacked the courage to lead all those people and that you needed me. I did just as you asked me to, because I felt bad for you. Now I can see that was nothing more than a lie.” As Ben spoke, I started to feel this horrible sensation of dread. He was right up in Thomas’s face, in the middle of a blizzard, giving him a lecture. This was not the time or place for it. I wanted to stop him from berating him, but I knew it was futile. I had to trust in that Ben knew what he was doing. He would not let any of us down. “Thomas, you’re not the pathetic, weak person that you make yourself out to be. You’re braver and more courageous than you can ever imagine. If there was ever a time for you to believe in yourself, then this is it.”

Thomas grabbed hold of Ben’s arms to steady himself and was temporarily overcome with a wave of pain. Ben held him tightly and waited for it to pass. Once it was over, he looked up at him, taking a deep breath. “Benjamin… I am sorry… for everything that happened… for the way I ended things…”

As the snow fell down, blanketing us with it’s pristine whiteness, the wind stopped for a moment, leaving us in an eerie silence. I saw Ben smile at Thomas, and then lean in and kiss him. My eyes went over to Brock, who had turned away from me and was staring into the darkness. For a moment, I was confused and a little upset at the show of affection from Ben to Thomas, and then I realized what it truly meant. This was not like the wicked kiss, laced with a broken promise like I had given to Brock, but instead it was a true, final acceptance of a love complete. I had almost forgotten that Thomas and Ben were together for a brief period of time. It felt like a lifetime away, buried in the past, but for Ben there was never closure. Lizzie had come into the picture without warning, too quickly, and Thomas’s sudden decision to be with her left Ben feeling incomplete. Now with this final, intimate kiss, it was over and all was forgiven. It was a beautiful, heartfelt moment shared between the two of them, and I wished that could have been the way that it had been for Brock and I. I felt a little jealous.

“I believe in you, Thomas.” Ben said, finally letting him go. Lizzie came over and took Ben’s place, helping Thomas to stand. “It’s time that you believe in yourself as well.”

Straightening up, all traces of pain left Thomas's face, and he looked so confident. “I’m ready, Ben.”

Benjamin rejoined me, just as the wind started to pick up again, blowing the snow all around us. We knew that the base could explode at any moment now and leaving was imperative. “Which way do we go?” I asked him.

Ben took hold of my hand. His cold fingers laced together with mine and it felt wonderful. Even though we were freezing, I never felt so alive. “It doesn’t matter which way we go, Dustin. As long as I am with you, I know I am on the right path.” I was overcome with emotion. We were walking out to our possible deaths, but it mattered little to me. I was with Ben again, I could die happy.

We had only made it a few feet when suddenly there was a blinding light in front of us, so intense that we had to shield our eyes from it. Along with it came a droning whir of engines and I could smell the choking scent of gasoline and oil. Then I heard a voice. “Dustin! Oh my god is that really you!? And Benjamin!” Lowering my arm, I started in disbelief at the sight in front of me. A few feet away was a heavily armored vehicle, the passenger side door was open and there standing was Selene. She was wearing a thick, heavy black flight suit which made her stand out starkly against the white snow. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Selene… How did you find us?” I asked, as she pulled away. I could see that her hands and arms were wrapped in layers of thick, white gauze and parts of her face had the remnants of horrible burns.

Smiling, she stepped to the side. “I didn’t. He did.” I looked as a man came up from behind her. A tall man with sharp angular features, blond hair and intense blue eyes. I had a feeling that I knew him from somewhere. Beside me, I heard Ben draw in a breath. “Aaron found you.”

Aaron stepped forward and extended his hand. I didn’t take it. Ben was the one who did. “Commander Burnley, it’s good to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, sir. I see that your group needs some assistance and medical attention. Can I offer you a lift back to Dawn?”

There was a look of sadness in Ben’s eyes as he greeted Aaron. We were rescued, why would he look so sad? “Benjamin.” He said flatly. “Just call me Benjamin. The new commander of the Shallow Bay is right here, behind me.” Ben stepped aside, as Thomas and Lizzie came forward.

A moment of pure elation came across Lizzie’s face, seeing Selene again. Selene went to them and hugged both Lizzie and Thomas tightly, and all of them were overcome with emotion. I couldn’t help but to feel a wave of contentment, seeing the three of them together once more. Standing there in the snow, they looked like a proper family now. Several moments passed before they finally released one another and Thomas limped forward to greet Aaron.

“Good to see you again, Aaron.” He said, giving him a nod. “Mind giving us a lift?”

“Of course not sir.” He said, smiling warmly. “Dawn is just a few miles away, we can be there in no time.”

Thomas shook his head. “No. We're going to the Shallow Bay.”

Aaron frowned. “Commander Bell, it would be safer if we just returned to Dawn, The Shallow Bay is quite some distance away and you're in need of medical attention, the most logical place to go is the one that is closest.”

Thomas glared at Aaron. For the first time, I could see the leader that he was about to become. “We're going to the Shallow Bay. End of discussion.”

Aaron reluctantly agreed. “As you wish sir.”

Lizzie looked at Selene for a moment and Selene nodded to her. Slowly, she slid out from her position, holding Thomas up and let Aaron take over. Selene extended her hand and led Lizzie to the waiting vehicle. The two women climbed into the warm, heated interior and took a seat. Selene put her arm around Lizzie and she rested her head in her lap, closing her eyes. Aaron assisted Thomas into the front seat with him, where Selene had been sitting. Thomas leaned back into the seat, resting his head back onto the padded head rest.

I turned around, looking for Brock and noticed that he was standing a distance away from us, looking down at the base below. Leaving Ben’s side, I walked down the snowy slope, my feet skidding a few times in the icy terrain and came to stand behind him. “Brock, it’s time to go. Come on, everyone is waiting.”

He didn’t turn around, but I could see that he was still holding Lizzie’s comm device in his shaking hand. The minutes were still counting down. “I am not going, Dustin.” He said quietly. I almost couldn’t hear him over the high winds and the thick hood he was wearing.

I moved forward, sliding further down the hill, until I was standing next to him. My hands and feet were numb and frozen now. I wanted to be done with this. “What did you say?” I asked, still unsure whether or not I heard him correctly.

Slowly turning to look at me, I could see that he had been crying. “I am not going with you.” He repeated. “I’m going back in there. If I leave now, I still have time…”

“Are you fucking insane? That place is going to explode, why the hell would you want to go back…” I stopped. I couldn’t say another word. I knew why he wanted to go back. He wanted to be with Burnley. “NO! Brock, I won’t let you throw your life away. He’s not worth it. Look at everything that he made you do, he was using you. Can't you see that he didn’t love you? Those were all words to get you to do whatever he wanted. Don’t throw your life away for something that never existed.”

“Maybe he didn’t really love me, but that’s not the reason why I am going back down there.” Brock looked at his broken hand. There were more than shattered bones inside that cast, there were shattered dreams and hopes.

My heart sank. I didn’t want to say the words out loud. Hearing something said gives it power, and I didn’t want them to be true. “You loved him?” I asked quietly.

“Love, not loved…. He’s still alive. I can feel it. He’s alone, trapped in that room, laying on the cold floor, blind and slowly bleeding to death. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering that he’s experiencing right now, being left all alone. He’s destroyed everything around him in an attempt to bring some meaning to his life, trying desperately to make sense of it all, but everything just slipped away from him. He couldn’t kill Benjamin, and I know why now… In some sort of twisted, fucked up way, Burnley respected Ben because he was his father; the only person in his life who ever had shown him an ounce of compassion. He wanted Benjamin to save him.” Brock took a deep breath. “Can you imagine how terrible it must be, to go through life knowing that not a single person loves you?”

“Brock, Burnley doesn’t understand what love is. It’s just another weapon that he uses against people.” I reached out and took hold of his hands. I had never felt skin so cold before. “Please just come back with us.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, yes you can. Everyone is waiting for you. Thomas, Lizzie, Selene… even Ben. We made it out of the there, all of us, together, and now there’s just one last step before we’re home. Tonight, we can put our heads down on soft pillows, close our eyes and finally sleep. Morning will come and everything will be alright, I promise.”

Brock looked up to the top of the hill, where the others were waiting. “That’s not my life, Dustin. That’s yours. I see the way that you look at Benjamin. You two were meant to be together. Even through all that has happened, I still have feelings for you, and waking up every single morning, knowing that I can’t share these emotions with you would be killing me. Burnley… he made me realize this. We both know that he’s right. He’s the only one who has been truthful and honest to me, making me see things that were right in front of my face the entire time. I’ve been so blind before… and now that I’ve seen the truth… I can’t deny it. He didn’t show me these things to pit me against you, or make me a weapon against you and Benjamin… he did it because he was reaching out, hoping that maybe he could find another person to connect to. A kindred spirit, someone to love…” Brock let go of my hands and pulled his messenger bag up onto his good shoulder. “I am not going to let him die alone.”

I stared at him through the falling snow. This was the reason for his silence. Burnley had manipulated each of us in some way or another, but Brock’s case was the worst. Because of his coldly calculated words and actions, he had caused Brock to fall in love with him, choosing a time when he was the most vulnerable. Glancing back up to the top of the hill, I could see the headlights of Aaron’s vehicle shining brightly in the storm like a beacon of hope, and the dark silhouette of Ben standing in front of them, patiently waiting for me. I turned back to Brock, my mind scrambling, racing, trying to think of another way to plead my case to him. I couldn’t let him walk away from me, not again. “Brock, you said that you still love me, so I am begging you, please don’t go back there, because if you do, you’re going to be breaking my heart and hurting me in the worst way possible. I almost lost you once before, and I can’t stand the thought of going through that again. If you won’t do it for me, then please do it for Lizzie and Thomas. Prox is going to be restored, they are going to get the chance to have a real life now, and they would want you in it.”

Clutching the communication device in his hand, Brock turned toward me and smiled. The minutes displayed before the base would explode were down to the double digits now. Time was running out. He slipped his hand into the messenger bag and took something out of one of the inner pockets. “The reason it hurts so much to go separate ways is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and always will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons.” He looked up to where Ben was standing above us on top of the hill and then reached for one of my hands. “I don’t have to tell you what those reasons are, you already know… but I can assure you, they are good ones. All you have to do is follow your heart and don’t ever let him go.” Brock pulled my fingers back and placed something in the palm of my hand and pushed it closed. He pulled his hood back so that I could see his face clearly, one last time and then kissed me on the cheek. His lips felt like fire against my icy skin. I felt myself quivering in the freezing wind. Pulling away, he flipped his hood up over his head and then started to walk back down the path leading to the base, and Burnley. I knew that it would be the last time that I would ever see him again.

I dropped down to my knees, sinking into the frozen snow, watching him walk away for as long as I could, until he became nothing more than a dot on the horizon. I heard Ben come rushing down the hill, his boots crunching against the icy snow and rocks and speak to me, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I was in a semi-comatose state, on auto pilot and barely breathing. I glanced up at him, and saw him remove his jacket and place it over my shoulders. The snow was turning to rain, soaking into my clothing and penetrating my very being with its icy coldness. Suddenly I realized that I knew what Ben was talking about, why he was always cold and said that it was ‘chilling him to the bone’. He wasn’t talking about a physical feeling; it was something more intense, more deeper than that. It was a feeling in the very core of your being, an emotional emptiness inside that radiates out from the center that you cannot control or contain. Its icy fingers spread through your veins and outward, making you numb and dead inside.

Ben leaned down, grabbing me by my shoulders and helped me to my feet. I clutched desperately at his arms as my legs suddenly gave out beneath me and I started to fall back down to the ground. In a split second, he caught me in his arms and scooped me up like I weighed nothing at all, and carried me back to the top of the hill. In the harsh lights, I could see Aaron standing outside of the vehicle, with a look of concern on his face. He opened the door for Ben and he lifted me inside, gently placing me on one of the long padded seats in the back. The warmth from the heated interior felt a little better, but I still was shaking uncontrollably. I held my hand clenched tightly into a fist; the item that Brock had placed there still hidden away, I couldn’t bring myself to look at it. Aaron slammed the door shut behind him and then went to the driver’s seat of the vehicle and started the engine. It roared into life, drowning out the sound of the rain hitting the metal roof on top of us. I felt the vehicle lurch and then start to move out and take us away from the F.E.C. base… away from all the pain… away from all the suffering… away from Brock.

Walking through the silent halls, Brock made his way back into the base, finding his way easily back to the examination room. He paused outside of it, looking at the glowing keypad in front of him that he himself had locked. Lightly running his fingers over the keys, he entered the code, ‘5502’ and the door opened. He paused for a moment, seeing the bloodied sheet that had been wrapped around Ben’s body discarded in the hall and picked it up, taking it with him into the room. The bright lights had flashed on, sensing motion in the room, and flooding everything with an intense, white medicinal glow. Reaching over to the control panel, he shut them off, and flicked on the less intense, low power illumination. There was no need for such harsh lights. Not now. Looking to the center of the room, he saw the sword, still broken in two, and next to it, Burnley’s motionless body, laying in a puddle of thick blood. He pulled a roll of gauze out of his messenger bag and clutched it in his hand. Next, he removed the makeshift sling that Lizzie had made for his arm and discarded that too. Standing at the edge of the room, he took a deep breath and painfully peeled off his soaking wet jacket and shirt underneath. Slowly walking over, he approached Burnley, fearing that he was too late.

Kneeling down beside him, Brock gently lifted Burnley’s shoulders and slipped his legs underneath him. Cradling his body, in his lap, he took the roll of gauze and started to wrap it around Burnley’s head, where his eyes once were. Feeling Brock’s gentle touch, Burnley woke up and a small smile crept across his face. “Why did you come back, Brock?” he asked.

Brock fastened the bandage across Burnley’s eyes and then looked down his body at the gaping hole in his stomach from where Thomas had stabbed him. Bandaging his face seemed to be a very useless thing to do, considering his other more serious, life threatening wound. Brock picked up the stained sheet and draped it over Burnley’s body, trying his best to give the dying man a bit of modesty in his last moments. “When I left with the others, I was prepared to go with them, and suffer in silence again. That’s what everyone was expecting me to do… but then I saw Dustin and Benjamin, and I remembered your words… how you told me that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t ever be able to fit in to a life with them. I couldn’t be part of that and be happy ever again. I am tired of suffering in silence, afraid to speak up and tell people what I’ve been thinking, because I don’t want to hurt them. You are the first person who has ever been brutally honest with me, the first person to show me what it’s like to have someone love you and not expect anything else in return.”

Reaching up, Burnley placed a bloody hand alongside of Brock’s jaw. “I didn’t tell you that I loved you to make you do things. I told you because you needed to know… you and I are the same sort of soul. Born with the desire to do good, and yet made to suffer in darkness. I saw everything in you that I wanted to be, but couldn’t… and I felt the need to free you… from everything…I wish… I could have showed you… exactly how much… I do… love…” Burnley’s body started to twitch violently, and he was overcome with a fit of coughing. Holding him tightly in his arms, Brock pulled him in close to his bare chest, trying desperately to keep his broken body together for as long as he could. When the spasms finally ceased, Burnley’s breathing became shallow and infrequent. Brock gently wiped away the flecks of saliva and blood that had formed on the corner of his mouth. “you.. didn’t… answer my question…. Brock…” Burnley said in a low, whispering tone. “…why did… you … come back?”

Feeling the warmth leaving Burnley’s body, Brock knew that he was slipping away, and he started to cry. “I wanted to save you, because you saved me...” He whispered. “Because I love you.”  
Burnley’s turned his head slightly to face Brock, his sightless eyes searching for him in the darkness. “I can hear raindrops… Brock… is it raining?”

Brock tried his best to keep himself from completely breaking down. He had to be strong, Burnley needed his strength. “Yes… it’s raining outside.”

“A perfect night for puddle jumping…” Burnley’s breath slowed down. “Brock… stay with me, don’t let me go. I don’t want to be here in the darkness alone.”

Taking hold of Burnley’s hand, Brock held onto it tightly. “I’ll stay with you Burnley, until the ashes of Eden fall.” 

A small smile pulled at the corner of Burnley pale white lips. “Benjamin… my name… is Benjamin…”

Burnley took one last deep breath and then slowly exhaled. The last bit of life he was hanging onto slipped away, as Brock cradled him tightly in his arms. Anger filled him right down to the very core. Everyone called Burnley a monster, a psychopath and a lunatic, no one saw Burnley in the last moments of his life, and ever would. They wouldn’t see the innocence being returned to him as the last vestiges of wickedness faded away, leaving only the pure, misunderstood lonely soul behind. He wished that he could go back to the Shallow Bay now to see Benjamin one last time and tell him that his only child, his son, died with love in his heart, and not the vile, perverted hate that everyone else had known him for. Burnley wasn’t manipulating Brock; he was reaching out to him, searching desperately for a way to save himself. 

Off in the distance, there was a loud explosion, and the floor around him began to shake violently. Bits of rubble started cascading down from the ceiling, falling all around him, but Brock did not move. He held Burnley in his arms clutching him against his chest, refusing to let him go to until he was dead himself. Another explosion echoed through the halls, getting closer this time and now Brock could make out the first traces of smoke and ash as it crept in through the the door. He looked down at Burnley, laying peacefully in his arms. The blood had seeped through the bits of gauze wrapped around his face, and leaked out down over his cheeks. With a delicate, tender motion, Brock wiped the stains away with the tips of his fingers. Bending down, he then brought his lips over Burnley's and pressed them down firmly, the faint trace of warmth still lingered, giving the hint of life, but with the taste of death and ash.

“You asked me questions nobody ever asked me before. You knew that I was a lost cause, a hopeless soul, but you treated me like a man..” Brock's tears flooded his eyes, and splashed down onto Burnley's lifeless face. “Now I realize that if I had to choose, I would willingly choose you, Burnley. I believe in you, I believe in the good in you... and I will always love you!” The third explosion set of a series of smaller explosion in the rooms surrounding the examination room, knocking the power off and plunging him into darkness. He didn't care. He held Burnley tighter still, digging his fingers into his cold flesh, refusing to let go. The emergency lights kicked on, bathing the two of them in a eerie amber glow for a few minutes. Smoke was filling the room now, and it was becoming harder to breathe and stinging his eyes. Looking around with blurred vision, Brock waited patiently for death to come.

Out of the corner of his vision, he saw movement at the door. Dustin, he thought, damn you, why are you back here! Leave me alone, leave me to die in peace. Staring intently at the figure before him, he watched as it moved closer and closer coming to the center of the room. Outside in the corridor, something caught fire, and the flames started creeping in. He could see the person more clearly now, walking slowly as the flames surrounded them. Stepping into the amber light, a beautiful woman with long flowing blond hair approached him. She was dressed from head to toe in a long, tight fitting black dress that flared out from her waist dramatically. Thick, high heeled boots were strapped onto her feet, but they made no sound as she walked. Gazing up at her, Brock could see that she had some sort of transparent visor covering her eyes. It flashed and pulsed with three rows of color, as a rhythmic stream of information was presented to her. The flames had now started to creep up the walls and fill the room with a unforgiving heat that blistered Brock’s skin and sent waves of pain through his body. The woman approached him and stood before him as he held Burnley's body in his arms on the floor. “Who are you?” He asked.

“I am one of the fallen, and I've come for you, Brock.” The sound of her voice struck Brock's heart like a thousand spears and for a moment, he stopped breathing. Bending down gracefully, she knelt down in front of him, her visor glowing and illuminating her beautiful face and bowed, respectfully lowering her iridescent lilac eyes.

“I don't believe in angels.” Brock said, his voice harsh and cracking as his lungs filling up with smoke.

The woman smiled at him. “I am not an angel. Rather, a 'Messenger' and I am going to take you home to the place where you belong.

“No.” Brock pulled Burnley's body up against his again. “I am not going anywhere. I want to stay here. It's where I belong. I made a promise to him and I intend to keep it.”

“I know this. And I know why you want to stay. It's because you love him. This is why I was sent to come collect you. You are a truly unique soul, Brock. You are capable of showing love and compassion to the most wicked and evil creatures. You see goodness and light were there are none. There is no greater sacrifice that a man can make, than to offer his own soul to one who has lost his own. Burnley doesn't need you any longer. Your love has set him free. Now it's your turn, to take your rightful place among the stars and live as you truly should be.”

The fourth explosion cracked the concrete floor near where Brock was sitting, and hot, steaming fissures of air started to escape and fill with room with scalding, humid moisture. Sweat was pouring down Brock's face now and running into his eyes, stinging them and making it hard to see. He looked down to Burnley again, and then up to the woman. Her face looked so familiar. “But I don't want to go...he needs me.... and Dustin needs me....”

She smiled at him, and then spoke softly. “I need you Brock.”

Brock's eyes widened. “Siobhan?”

The woman brought her fingers up to his lips. “Shhh”. Reaching out towards him, she then put her fingertips directly over Brock's heart. An intense agony shot through him and he let go of Burnley's body, screaming out in pain. “Do you know what love is, Brock? It's that beautiful, intense moment when you realize that your heart is about to burst. You just know that you will probably die from it, but you don't care. All you want is to suffer that pain over and over again, as many times as you can, before your body finally gives out and there is nothing left of you, that's what love is. The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...”

The final explosion in the series detonated. There was a loud boom and then the shattering of glass. Brock started to fall backwards onto the floor, away from the woman, just in time to see the large glass windows above him crack and shatter into a million pieces which rained down in slow motion into the room below. He could feel the fire erupting from the holes in the floor around him and burning his skin, but there was no pain at all, because by the time that his body made impact with the floor, his heart exploded and he ceased to exist.

The rain pounded against the windows of the vehicle relentlessly. Ben slid his arm around my shoulders, supporting me as best he could. Lizzie and Selene were trying to talk to me, but I didn't hear them, all I could hear was the rain. Aaron drove us away from the F.E.C. Base with haste, and soon we found ourselves in the middle of the desert, heading back to the Shallow Bay. I started to drift off to sleep when suddenly far behind us, there were a series of loud noises, and the sky lit up like the fourth of July. Everything shook around us and the others looked around in alarm. The F.E.C. base had exploded, and the shock-wave from the detonation could be felt underneath the moving tires even though we were miles away. Lizzie, Thomas and Selene all turned to look back at me, each of them with an expression of hurt and loss locked on their faces. I could tell that they wanted to comfort me, but no one ever possibly could. I moved away from Ben and slid towards the back windows of the vehicle and stared outside. The horizon was filled with a massive fireball from the direction that we came in, and it quickly spread out over the plains consuming the remnants of dead trees and brush with an intense rage. High above, the night sky was illuminated with noxious clouds of smoke and ash that painted the horizon an eerie blood red and orange color. “Brock.” I whispered. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry, I am so sorry.” I put one hand on the glass of the window; it was cool and comforting for a moment. I wanted to reach out and touch him, I wanted to pull him from the fire and tell him that everything was going to be okay. After everything that we had been through, I couldn't save him in the end. I knew that he was dead, because I could no longer feel his heart beating, or hear his words echo inside my head anymore. I lost him for good this time.

Ben didn't pull me back to my seat, but instead came to sit next to me on the floor. The jarring movements of the trek through the desert made me sick and nauseous, it was a ongoing fight to keep the rising bile inside my stomach down. I leaned over and rested my head on Ben's chest. I could hear his heart beating and each strong, confident breath that he took. He reached around to hold my hand and then I realized that I still had it clenched into a tight fist, and the item that Brock had given me concealed in there. Ben held his hand out and I rested the back of my hand on top of the palm of his in the opposite direction. Trying not to tremble, I slowly loosened my fingers and looked at what Brock had put there. I saw the numbers first, 5502 embedded deeply in the piece of blue plastic, and then the Starset logo printed just below them. This was the last remains of the life we once had, and never could again. Brock given me his guitar pick. I closed my hand, wrapping my finger tightly around it and closing my eyes. I held it so tightly that it bit into my hand and cut my flesh. I wanted to cry, but no tears would come, I was too badly dehydrated and exhausted. Ben kissed the top of my head and just held me in his arms while we traveled through the night back to the Shallow Bay.

I woke up in a bed inside a darkened room. I could hear the gentle patter of rain hitting the windows outside and a quiet rush of wind as it whipped around the perimeter of the base. Everything was drenched in a eerie gray twilight color, and I couldn’t tell if it was morning or night. All my clothing had been removed, and a blanket tucked around my battered body with loving care. As I lay there naked, under the plush warmth of the fabric, I had this strange feeling that I was not alone in the room. Rolling over slightly onto my side, I saw the form of another person sleeping soundly there beside me. Judging from the short, cropped black hair, I could tell that it was Benjamin and let out an audible sigh of relief. He, too had pulled the shared blanket up around him, and was sleeping peacefully with his back to me, facing the window. I couldn’t believe that it was all over. How long had it been since I first woke up on Prox? I couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to remember. The bad memories I had here far outweighed the good. Not a single one of us escaped without some sort of abuse. I thought about Ben, and the torture he had to endure, I thought about Lizzie, and the nightmarish carnivore conversion process she had to go through, and then I thought about Brock… and how I lost him. Grief, wider and deeper than the ocean began to over come me and I found myself sinking down into it. I was drowning in sorrow. I reached out, touching Ben’s shoulder. It was like I was trying to cling on to life, by holding on to him, to avoid being swept away by the current of emotion. He stirred slightly in his sleep. I knew that I should let him be, he needed rest too, but I wanted him awake. I wanted to see those beautiful gray green eyes looking at me, and I wanted him to whisper compassionate words to me to put me at ease.

As my fingertips touched his shoulder, he turned slightly and I moved in closer to him, letting our bodies find each other underneath the blankets. It felt so good to have his bare skin against mine once again. I pressed my chest against the center of his back and looped an arm over his waist, feeling the sharp angles of his hip bone protruding. He had lost so much weight in the last few months, but still remained muscular and fit. I didn’t care though, I never judged him by his appearance, it was his beautiful soul that I had fallen in love with. I had felt his hand move slightly and I reached out for it, running my fingers over his long slender digits. These hands had done so much good in the past that it was almost unbelievable. Through everything that happened, Ben never allowed himself to be the villain, it wasn’t in his nature to be intentionally cruel to anyone. As my fingers ran along his, I noticed something odd. He was not wearing his wedding ring. I let go of his hand and wrapped my fingers around the edge of the blanket near the top of his shoulder, pulling it down a few inches. The material hissed softly as it fell away from him and I closed my eyes while I leaned forward to place a kiss on the center of his back. My lips touched his soft skin, and I heard him laugh quietly. Curious to his amusement at this tender, intimate moment, I opened my eyes and was instantly terrified. Tattooed across the center of his back was a large black skeletal crow with it’s wings outstretched.

Letting out a cry of horror, I immediately tried to move away from him, but Burnley was too strong. He was on top of me in an instant, pushing me over and thrusting me back down against the bed. His strong hands grabbed at my wrists and held them together over my head, while his powerful thighs straddled me and he pressed the full weight of his body down onto mine. Burnley is dead, this isn’t real, this has to be a dream, I thought to myself.

“So what if it is?” Burnley answered out loud, hearing my thoughts and glaring down at me with those intense amber eyes. “I told you EXACTLY what I was going to do, how I could invade your dreams at night and fill your days with dread.” He squeezed my wrists so tightly that I thought I could hear bones crushing. “As long as you carry the guilt inside of you, I will exist, filling your nights with exquisite pleasure and pain, bringing you to the heights of such mental anguish that you will wish you were dead.”

“Fuck you Burnley. You have no power over me anymore. We left you behind.” I looked him straight in the eyes, and saw my own pitiful reflection there.

He laughed at me and yanked the blanket down off my body with his free hand. I tried to kick my legs, to throw him off of me, but his weight held me down, allowing absolutely no movement at all. Tossing the blanket aside, he put his hand on my chest and spread his fingers out, digging his nails into my skin and started dragging them down my body. I could feel the flesh ripping open and tiny rivulets of blood starting to trickle down onto the bed. Lowering his head, he brought his face down to the side of my neck and kissed it with his burning hot lips. Each touch seared my flesh and set it on fire with a unyielding , erotic, perverted passion. I wanted it to stop before it got any further. I couldn’t endure this, not again. Even if it was a dream. I refused to let him rape me a second time. Lifting his fingers off my chest, he sat up slightly and bought them to his lips. I could see drops of my blood, and bits of flesh hanging off of them as he extended his tongue and began to lick them off one at a time. After they were clean, and glistening wet with saliva he reached down, stretching his arm out and grasped my flaccid penis with a vice like grip. Summoning every bit of strength I had inside of me, I screamed and pulled my arms free from him, punching and kicking with everything that I had. I felt my fists collide with his body, I wasn’t sure where the punches had landed, but I didn’t stop. I kept throwing them over and over; I was fighting for my life now, screaming, yelling, shouting at the top of my lungs.

“Dustin! Dustin, stop! It’s a dream!” I heard a voice calling to me. I stopped my assault, and slowly opened my eyes. It was Benjamin. I looked around in confusion. We had finally made it back to the Shallow Bay. Aaron had driven the vehicle into the dock area, to give us some privacy, away from curious, prying eyes so that we could all climb out. I must have fallen asleep and has slipped into a terrible nightmare along the way. Thomas and Selene were whisked away immediately for medical attention, leaving Lizzie standing outside in the rain with Ben. They were both soaking wet, and staring at me in sadness.

Lizzie stepped forward and looked to Ben. “I’ll stay and help, if you need me.” Her voice was quiet and subdued.

“No Lizzie. I can handle it from here. You’ve done more than enough for us, you should go be with Thomas now.” Ben replied to her. She offered me a smile, a gentle kiss on the cheek and then hurried inside.

I pulled myself to the edge of the vehicle, and draped my legs over the back bumper. It felt like there were a thousand bees all stinging the inside of my brain at once. I was dizzy and disorientated, and standing upright was going to be a monumental task for me to accomplish on my own. Ben moved forward and put his arm around my waist, helping me to stand. The world pitched and shifted, but I held onto him, digging my fingers into his arms and holding on until the moment passed. Turning my face up to the sky, I let the rain wash over me. It cooled me down and made me temporarily forget about the fever that assaulted my body. Very far off in the distance, I could see the ominous, gray smoke clouds which spilled out over the plains, covering everything with noxious chemicals. I knew where it was coming from, and I turned and looked away. I didn’t want to see that. The F.E.C. base would probably burn for days, destroying everything around it.

Aaron came around to join us, and looked from me to Ben. “We managed to infiltrate the headquarters and dismantle the Everything Machine, but a few of their members have managed to escape and are on the run. There’s a lot of them. We could use your help in tracking them down, sir.”

Holding me in his arms, Ben shot Aaron a annoyed glance. The young man took a step back, obviously disturbed. “I’ve done enough, WE’VE done enough for the messengers. If you want to find them, then I suggest that you send your own men out there.”

“Benjamin, this is a serious situation here. If even one of them manages to make it off Prox, then---“

“WE LOST SOMEONE OUT THERE, AARON.” Ben snapped back at him. He jammed a finger into the man’s chest forcefully. “There’s no way in fucking hell that I am going to go parading all through the god damn planet looking for a few stragglers when my friends here need me. My priorities are set in stone and won’t change. It’s your problem now, you deal with it.” Turning on his heel, Ben turned and we started to walk away. We only made it a few feet when Aaron called back to him.

“It WILL BE your problem if they find a way to reassemble the Everything Machine.” Aaron shot back. “We were able to tear it down to the bare nuts and bolts, and even as we speak it’s being transported to a secure location, but if somehow the F.E.C. manages to find a way to recover it, we could be in severe danger. We need to strike now and find those last few operatives while they are on the run. You have to help us.”

Without warning, Ben let go of me and my knees buckled. I fell down to the ground, landing in a puddle. He flew across the grounds of the Shallow Bay, his feet stomping through water and mud to come face to face with Aaron. Balling his hand up into a fist, he cold cocked him right in the jaw and he fell over. Ben’s eyes flashed with rage. “You are a fucking liar, Aaron. You said that you destroyed the machine and now you say that you’ve ‘disassembled it’? Bull shit. I am not putting up with this any longer. Sure, I will send some of our men to you, but they are going to be instructed to completely destroy that thing, making sure that not a single part of it exists anymore... and I swear to fucking Christ, if I hear that you’ve stopped them, or you are planning to use that thing for your own gain, I will come over there to Dawn and rip you and that piece of shit apart with my own fucking hands.” Ben bent down and grabbed Aaron by the front of the shirt. “Have I made myself clear to you?”

Looking frightened and terrified, Aaron nodded to Ben, and then Ben let him go. “I… I am sorry, Benjamin..” he said.

Ben had already turned his back on the man and was now helping me to my feet once again. “Don’t say you’re sorry, Aaron. I’ve heard that far too many times in the last day. Do something about it instead.” With the rain pouring down, Ben and I walked together into the Shallow Bay. We were home at last.

The long, slow walk down the corridor to our private quarters was painful and agonizing. Ben asked me if I needed assistance, but I refused. Leaning on him was more than enough. I didn’t want the other Messengers seeing me being carried in like that. After everything that we had been through, I had to stand on my own two feet for once and try to exhibit some form of confidence. Opening the door, Ben walked me over to the bed and helped me sit down. He gave me the once over, to make sure I was okay and excused himself for a moment, ducking into the bathroom for a few minutes and then returning to stand in front of me, looking a little worried. “I’ll call for the medics to come check you out.”

“No Ben, please don’t. They’ve got their hands full with Thomas and Selene right now. I’ll go myself later. Right now I just want to get some rest. I am so tired.”

Sitting down next to me on the bed, Benjamin leaned over and kissed me. Underneath his lips, I smiled and then moved to pull away, but he stopped me with another kiss. Closing my eyes, I leaned into it, enjoying this sweet, intimate moment. I felt his hand on the front of my chest, slowly unbuttoning my shirt. One by one the buttons came undone, and the soft layers of fabric fell away as he pushed it off my shoulders. Taking hold of me, he leaned me back down onto the bed and unlaced my boots, pulling them off and tossing them aside as well. His strong, muscular body curled up next to mine and he moved his tender kisses from my lips across my neck. I started to feel lightheaded and weak from his advances, and tried to convince myself that it was only a case of nerves. I had to relax. This was the moment I was longing for, for so long. I reached out and let my hand rest on his jawline feeling the stiff, coarse facial hair underneath my fingertips. My heart started beating furiously in my chest, and there was a strange, dull ache in my head. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this, not yet. I felt his hand wander down the side of my body and come to rest on one of my hips. His touch was so delicate and gentle, and yet every single movement was strong and commanding. Swirling his fingers to the front of my pants, he unbuttoned them and drew the zipper down. I closed my eyes, wanting to drown myself in this moment of pleasure, but somewhere off in the deep recesses of my mind, I felt the cold, unrelenting touch of Burnley’s hands on my skin. I pushed the thought away and reached out, putting my arms around Ben and clutching him tightly to me. As my arms wrapped around his shoulders, he reached down and pulled my pants off with one fluid motion. A chill ran down my spine, and it wasn’t from the temperature in the room. I was now naked once again, bare and vulnerable. I suddenly remembered the dream, and I didn’t want him to touch me. I was afraid and ashamed. “Ben…” I whispered through clenched teeth. “I don’t think… I can… Please don’t make me go through with this… I am not ready… not yet…” Burnley was laughing at me inside my head, with those amber eyes swirling with delight and amusement.

Ben stopped and ran his fingers down the side of my face. I looked into his eyes. No sign of amber there. What the hell was wrong with me? “Dustin, just relax. I got you.” With those words, he reached down and scooped me up into his strong arms again. I felt a little silly, but at the same time I felt elated and comforted by him. Lifting me off the bed, he walked across the room with me and took me into the bathroom, where he had a steaming hot bath waiting for me. I looked at the swirling water, and then back at him guiltily. I was so stupid. He wasn’t trying to have sex with me, he was trying to get me cleaned up. He gently placed my body into the hot, steaming water and gave me a smile. “I am going to leave you alone for a while. Will you be alright?”

I nodded to him and he left quietly. He had not turned the lights on in the small room, and the only illumination came from a high overhead skylight that let a little bit of moonlight in. I leaned back and let the water wash over me, turning my gaze upwards to the heavens. I could see the beautiful silver twinkling stars in the sky so clearly now. The rain and snow had ended, giving Prox its first, much needed dose of moisture in years. I was grateful to be home, even though this place felt strange and foreign to me, Ben was here, and that was all I needed. Splashing the hot water over my body, I was able to get a good look at all the cuts and slices that Burnley had carved into me with his deadly precise scalpel. The physical wounds would heal in time, but I wasn’t so sure about the mental ones. As I rinsed my arms off, I paused to look at my hands. Flipping them over, I could see that there were still traces of dried blood in the cracks and crevices of each one. It wasn’t my blood. It was Brock’s. My heart started to ache thinking about him. I had cruelly kissed him, setting a series of events in motion that had pulled us apart and I deeply regretted it. Had I not done that, had I just simply got up and went after him when he left the infirmary, perhaps then he wouldn’t be dead. I stared at the dark red stains trapped under my nails. I didn’t go after him at the infirmary… if I did, I could have saved him… I didn’t go after him when he went back for Burnley… I started to cry… I could have saved him. Brock wanted me to go after him. Why didn’t I see it sooner?

Grabbing a small towel, I scrubbed my fingers with a insane rage, pushing the material faster and faster across my skin. Brock’s blood was on my hands, I had to get it off or else it would stay there forever. I couldn’t look at that every single day, I couldn’t deal with the guilt. What the hell was happening to me? I was falling apart. I was beginning to feel the same way as I had felt before I left the infirmary, after Burnley had raped me. Small, insignificant and worthless. I had to keep scrubbing, to make it go away. I pushed that towel into my flesh for what felt like an eternity, each pass taking more and more layers of skin off my hands until they were bare, cracked and bleeding. I held them up and watched the blood drip down in the moonlight. I deserved to have blood on my hands, I was Brock’s murderer.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward in the tub and wrapped my arms around my knees. I wanted to make myself disappear. It had grown cold now, and Ben hadn’t returned, but I couldn’t bring myself to step outside of the water that was stained with my own filth. The dirt that came off my body floated around me like a cesspool of rot, and I didn’t even care. I sat there thinking only about how badly I failed Brock. I leaned forward, resting my head against my knees and started to shake. I head the door open, but didn't look up. I didn't want Ben to see me crying again. He came over to the edge of the tub, and put his hand on my shoulder and sat on the edge of the bathtub speaking softly to me. “I know you miss him, Dustin, we all will miss him, but you can't go on blaming yourself for what happened. He made his choice, and there weren't enough words that could have ever possibly been said that would have made him stay.”

“I could have kept trying, but I didn't. I let him go... why did I let him go!” I sobbed.

Kneeling down beside the tub, Benjamin reached out and pulled my hands away, so that he could see my face. “You didn't let him go... he let you go. That's why it hurts so much. Brock wanted you to be happy, he always did. People come and go so quickly from our lives that sometimes we fail to notice just how much they mean to us, until they are gone. Then there will come a day when you lose someone that you realize that you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken. The bad news is that you are never going to completely get over the loss of this person, but there is good news too. This person... they will live forever in your broken and shattered heart that doesn't seal back up, and then one day you're going to get through it. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even a year down the line, but you will make it. And through all of this, their soul will remain with you, inside your heart. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly. On cold nights, when the weather is particularly bad, you can feel the pain return, and you limp slightly... but Dustin.. the key to it all, is not learning how to walk with that limp, it's how to dance.”

The tears finally stopped flowing, and I sat there, under the silver moon from the skylight and stared at Ben and all his beauty. “Do you think that I will ever see him again?”

“Yes, but not as you think or imagine. One day, after all the oceans of Prox have been refilled with water from the skies, you might find yourself walking out onto an unfamiliar beach, feeling the saltwater on your skin, the sand under your toes and hear a voice on the wind, whispering to you. It will be far off and distant at first, and you might mistake it for the cry of a seagull flying high above, but the longer you listen, the more pronounced it becomes. You take a step out into the ocean, and feel the cool water wash over your feet and ankles and see the sunlight sparkling off the waves. There is a slight chill in the air that makes you sink a little further into your jacket. It is here where you will see him again. His touch will be that of the water, his voice will be whispering on the wind, his presence and spirit will be all around you. All you have to do to see him is close your eyes and he will be there for you, if you just believe.”

I leaned over the porcelain tub and put both my hands on Ben's face, gliding my hands over his cheeks and drew him into a deep kiss. His words were soothing and comforting, they made the guilt go away and replaced it with hope. I realized that in my despair over Brock, I had forgotten something very important, and that was Ben. He was all that I needed to heal both my body and my spirit. The cool water inside the tub chilled me to the bone, and as I leaned forward it dripped down onto the marble floor around us, breaking the silence with a quiet tapping sound. After several moments, Ben stood up and sliding his hands down to my hips, helped me step out of the tub. Waterlogged and shivering I stood there in front of him, naked once again, but feeling no shame or embarrassment. He reached for a towel to dry me off, but as he brought it to me, I pulled it out of his hands and dropped it down to the floor. I placed my hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating it's normal, steady pace and couldn't help but to smile. Benjamin was alive, he was here with me, my prayers had been answered. I unbuttoned his shirt and helped him out of it. Even with the angry red puncture wounds on his side from where Burnley stabbed him, he looked magnificent standing there in the moonlight, and I nearly broke down and wept just because I could reach out and touch him. I let my fingers dance along the front of his chest, and swirl just above the wounds that had almost been fatal. I let my hand dip into the waistband of his pants, just below his belt buckle and give it a little tug. I stood up on the tip of my toes and kissed him, letting my teeth tease his bottom lip and whispered to him. “You're so cold, let me warm you.”

I let him go and walked over to the shower. Pushing the door open, I turned the water onto the hottest setting that my skin could tolerate and stepped inside. The moment the steam hit my lungs I started to really breathe again. The water flowed down over my head and washed all the sorrow and pain away. The door slowly opened up and Ben stepped inside with me. I couldn't help but to once again stare at his spectacular body. I reached for him, letting my hand rest on one of his hips and drew him in close to me. We stood there together, face to face, my arms around his neck and his arms around my waist, locked together in a intimate lovers embrace. I ran my fingers through his hair as he slipped his fingertips up and down my spine. Each touch was soft and tender, filling my heart with wonder and delight. The guilt that I had felt earlier had all but melted away, leaving nothing but comfort and solace as I allowed myself to surrender to him. We were here, alone together in the Shallow Bay with no ticking timers, or lunatics chasing us, safe and sound. “Ben?”

Benjamin reached up and gently washed away the stains of long since dried tears off my face. “Yes Dustin?”

“I love you.” I said. I didn't know why I said it. It just felt good to say it to him.

“And I love you too, Dustin Bates.”

He pulled me into his arms again, and I closed my eyes.

I don't know how long we spent in that shower. Hours passed by like minutes and minutes flowed by like years. Eventually the water cooled off and we retreated to the soft comfort of clean towels wrapped around our battle worn bodies. Ben put his hands over my eyes and led me out into the bedroom. “I have a surprise for you.” he whispered. I laughed. I couldn't help but to find amusement in it. A few hours ago, we were fighting for our lives, and now here we were, acting like a perfect couple. Walking cautiously, I let him lead me through the room, and then he removed his hands from my eyes and I was standing in front of the bed. I looked down, and saw that there was a stack of clothing there. It was a pair of black pants, a white button down shirt, with a black bow tie and a pair of black glasses. I put my hand over my mouth.

“Oh Ben!” I felt my eyes becoming damp with tears again.

Standing behind me, he put his arms around my waist and kissed the side of my face. “I thought that you might like to feel a little like yourself again.”

My heart felt like it was going to burst. “I... I don't know what to say.” I murmured.

“You don't have to say anything, Dustin.” Ben answered. He came around to stand in front of me. “I have something else to give you. Something even more special.”

I placed one of my hands on the side of his face. “Ben you've already given me more than enough. All I need is you.”

“No. You need this too.” He reached over to the night stand and opened one of the drawers, taking something out and concealing it in his hand. “I was going to wait until morning to give you this, but I want you to have it now, so that you will never have to be without it again. Because... I know it's special to you. He held his hand out in front of me and waited. I looked at him curiously and then held my hand out to meet his. He leaned forward and put his lips on my forehead and released his fingers, letting it fall into my hand. In the dim light, I saw the glint of a chain, each link perfectly formed with the rarest of all metals on Prox, silver, and attached to the chain was a bright blue piece of plastic, polished and shined to perfection. The Starset logo was etched deeply into it, shining and shimmering brightly against the dark background. It was the guitar pick that Brock had given me. I was overcome with emotion. I started to say something and then he whispered into my ear, his lips just lightly grazing over my skin. “Flip it over.” With shaking fingers, I did as he asked and saw that on the opposite side of the pick were the numbers, '5502'. Brock's F.E.C. Number. “Now you never have to be without him again, he will always be with you, no matter what happens.” Taking the necklace from me, Ben draped it over my shoulders and around my neck. The length was perfect, the pick hung down to the center of my chest, directly over my heart. I lightly laid my fingers on it and closed my eyes. In my mind's eye, I saw Brock there, on the stage next to me, smiling that goofy, sweet smile from underneath his helmet. This is the way that I would always remember him.

The sun had just come up over the mountains, as Ben took me by the hand and led me over to the wide windows of our quarters and put his arms around me. We had survived the night. It was a new day, dawn on Prox. There were high, white puffy clouds in the sky, and a gentle breeze blowing through the nearby canyon. I slipped my hand into Ben's, entwining his fingers with mine. “We did it Ben.” I said quietly. “We made it to the end.”

Ben tightened his fingers with mine. “This isn’t the end, Dustin.”

“What do you mean?” I looked at him, curiously and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Look out there, everything is coming back to life, it’s new world with new hopes and dreams. It’s the beginning of something wonderful.” He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a warm embrace. “And I get to share it with you.”

\--The Great Divide will conclude in one last chapter--


End file.
